Nick Kyrgios has been left so stunned by the fallout in Australia over his much-criticised behaviour at Wimbledon that he has considered his future in tennis.
The world No. 29 had a running battle with umpires, the media and even the odd fan at the All England Tennis club until he was beaten in four sets by Richard Gasquet on Monday.
A day later, he was fined $10,100 for smashing his racquet so hard in his win over Milos Raonic that it bounced into the crowd and $2,700 for an audible obscenity in his match against Gasquet.
But it was the critical comments from back home that really stung.
“It’s been tough for me waking up everyday with negative messages,” Kyrgios told Fairfax media. “People don’t really know what goes on in my life. I’ve read a lot of what’s been said about me. I’ve read a whole lot. Comments like ‘he shouldn’t be representing Australia’, ‘he’s a disgrace’.
“It’s tough to read. I’m human. I don’t really want them to love me. I don’t want their love, but everyone deserves respect ... I don’t write bad tweets about anyone else. I don’t say anything bad about anyone else. I’m not this person everyone thinks I am.
“For sure you have those doubts and those thoughts,” he added of quitting the sport. “I definitely don’t love the sport. I like it to a degree, but I don’t love it.”
Kyrgios’ actions and those of his erstwhile Davis Cup teammate Bernard Tomic have polarised opinion in Australia, a land of usually less brash tennis heroes in Rod Laver, Tony Roche and Pat Rafter.
The debate over the pair’s behaviour even drew in four-time Olympic gold medallist Dawn Fraser, who was forced to apologise after accusations that one of her comments was racist.
Add in the claims that Kyrgios “tanked” during the second set against Gasquet plus dealing with a seriously ill grandfather, and it’s not hard to see how disillusioned he’d become with the sport.
“There’s a lot of stuff going through my head,” Kyrgios told Fairfax Media. “I’m questioning how I’m behaving on court, questioning how I should be playing. When all that other stuffs weighing you down, you know you’re not going to play your best tennis. There’s a lot going on. There’s so much other stuff going on that people don’t know about which is probably affecting me a bit on court.
“At times I feel lost. I’m questioning what I should do out there and that’s a bad thing. I’m a guy that’s always played on instinct on the tennis court. That’s how I should be. People think that I’ve crossed the line on a couple of things and it’s tough. The people that don’t like me think tennis should be a quiet and respectful sport and characters don’t really belong in a sport like this. I think it’s pretty narrow-minded.”
It’s all so different from a year ago, when he was ranked outside the top 100 but still managed to topple Rafael Nadal on his way to the Wimbledon quarterfinals to Australia’s unbridled joy.
But he can’t seem to escape the bad press even when it doesn’t directly involve him, such as when Tomic implied Kyrgios would pull out of the Davis Cup team in solidarity at his banning.
Kyrgios subsequently denied he would ever willingly stop representing Australia but it was yet another stain on an increasingly tarnished image that’s mostly down to his blow-ups with umpires.
“I feel fine with the umpires. There are blow-ups every single day,” he told Fairfax Media. “Every single player has a blow up. Whether they’re a star on tour or a 60 to 80 ranked player. It’s just the fact that everyone is watching my every move. Even if I have a conversation with an umpire, even if I’m just asking a question — it always seems like I’m having a blow-up.
“I feel as if I have good relationship with most of the umpires. We talk a lot, we joke around ... yeah at times I let them know if I think they’ve made a bad call, but everyone has blow-ups with the umpires.”
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